Saturday, September 24, 2005

when it comes to guys

when it comes to guys...
i have no mercy.
i kill at the slightest hint of danger.
regret or not, i don't care.

when it comes to guys...
i don't wait.
you either come quick or leave.
right or wrong, i don't care.

when it comes to guys...
i don't give second chances.
use it well or blow it.
deliberate or not, i don't care.

when it comes to guys...
i am very unreasonable.
learn my rules and abide by them well.
fair or not, i don't care.

when it comes to guys...
i don't care.
i might have cared before....
but not now, no more!

i can't say that my action is right...
there will come a time that it will backfire...
and i might lose the person that i have been searching for...
the loss, i will regret, i know....

but...

i don't care....

or do i?

Saturday, September 17, 2005

in the midst of it all...

Prelims...
Study Break...
The looming A-Levels...
yet... i still got the time to fall sick...

recently, no... last year actually, i got some fungal infection on the sole of my right leg... nothing much of a problem there other than it being VAWEE itchy. went to the doc and got some cream for them... they worked but.....

only for a while. this year, those things decided to pay me a visit again. ha!!!! and this time, they decided to stay longer. i actually went to the doc 4 blardy times about the same thing and i swear the doc had enough of me... and all those 4 times, i returned with different creams that, like the ones before, were valid for a limited time only.

days passed, weeks flew, months zoomed by and my foot wasn't getting any better. in fact, it got .............. (fill in the blank) the cream that i had to apply made my skin super dry, causing them to crack. i really didn't see anything critical about leaving those open wounds just like that... the only thing that was in my mind was that they were cracks and cracks are common things that should not be too worried about. and duh... open wounds are supposed to be kept in the open for ventilation (according to the 4th doc i met). so i did just that... but... guess what happened.

the wounds started to become very wet and there are pus all over. i could hardly walk as my feet would hurt like hell. it started to swell, making it almost impossible for me to focus on anything else except for the pain. my dad suggested to bring me to the clinic again.... my mom demanded to bring me to a private one... we followed the latter.

when the doc saw the condition of my foot, he got the shock of his life (i guess) and asked ''Do you want to go to A&E?" i was like... it can't be that bad. then he explained that i now suffer a, what he would like to call, super infection. from the fungal infection, my skin cracks, exposing the red thing beneath the skin to the dirt in the air. the dirt got into the open wounds. dirt contain bacteria. this leads to me having bacterial infection. this is why there was all the swelling and the liquid that were excreted out from the wounds showed that the bacteria are in their active stage. he told me that bacterial infection is very bad as it can spread very fast. and he also added that should i start having a fever, i should go to A&E immediately. he told me to look out for the swell (identified by redness on my skin) to check if it moves up as a sign of it spreading up my body.

i would have agreed to the A&E suggestion instantly if there wasn't any paper the next day... i wasn't too lucky. the next day was my paper 3 of economics. so the doc gave me some anti-biotics to keep the bacteria under control until the end of my exams. he also cleaned up my foot and applied some dressing. his initial intention was to cover only the 'big toe'-the worst hit area. but eventually decided to bandage the whole thing. i must admit that, amidst the seriousness of my condition, i couldn't help but to feel extremely exhilirated for it was my FIRST time getting a bandage.

well... one thing that i was very relieved of was that i no longer had to appear in school with that unsightly foot of mine coz now it's all under wraps. and i can walk a little more comfortably coz i got cushion under my foot! ha! who got that before?

so i'm supposed to go to A&E on Wed (21 sept) after the last paper... but a visit to the doc again just yesterday (reviewing purposes) might not make A&E necessary anymore. it's better now. but i have to swallow 20 pills a day! and i still have to keep a close watch on my foot. fever equals to A&E. swell spreads equals to A&E. therefore, fever equals to swell spreads. not literally lah.

may Allah give me the strength to overcome this test of his... Insya-Allah