a copy of my encounter...

i was starting on a malay book recently called 'cintamu di hati'. strangely, as i read the the intro, it sounded EXACTLY like my encounter with Asraf after we had our last fight. this is it...

*the actual names of the characters are kept intact. so, in this scene,
seri adriani: me... & Zul: Asraf... *

"Seri Adriani..."

Aku menoleh. Tersirap darahku ke muka tatkala merenung wajah di hadapanku. Aku tidak percaya pada dua deriaku; mata yang melihat wajah di depanku dan telinga yang mendengar suara itu. Suara yang pernah suatu ketika dahulu begitu aku rindukan tetapi kini cukup menyakitkan hati mendengarkannya.

"Apa khabar? Selamat Hari Raya." Dia menyapa mesra sambil menghulurkan tangan.

Aku biarkan saja tangan itu tidak disambut. Segala dendam dan sakit hati yang tersimpan sekian lama bertunda-tunda di dada. Aku cuba mengawal perasaan ketika pandangan kami bersatu.

"Boleh kita duduk di sana?" tanyanya setelah sepi seketika. Riak di wajahnya mengharapkan sesuatu.

"Tidak!" jawabku tegas.

Tanpa sepatah kata, aku terus meninggalkannya termangu-mangu. Aku tidak peduli apa perasaannya ketika itu kerana sudah tidak bedaya untuk berhadapan dengannya lagi....




i didn't carry on....

his reply to my reply....

If there's a problem,
We should work it out.
Please stop giving me the cold shoulder.
You don't even want to talk to me.

I know I made you mad but,
Why are you making this drag on so long?
I want to know.
I'm sick and tired of this silly games.

Don't figure that I'm the only one here to blame.
What now, you're gone, my fault, I'm SORRY!
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down.
Is it too late to turn it around?

I'm SORRY for the tears I made you cry.
I guess this time it really is goodbye.
I know that I made a few mistakes,
But never thought that things would turn out this
way.

Cause I'm missing something now that you're gone.
I can't see it all so clearly before.
I'm still standing at your door.
Giving my reasons but as you look away, I can
see a tear roll down your face.

his plea and my reply.

his plea...

Friends No More Forever?

Backed me down from backing up.
Hold your breath now, it's stacking up.
Etched with marks but i can deal,
And you're the problem but you can't feel.

To trust me is just one defense.
Of a list of others I don't make sense.
Begged you time and time again,
To take me back now but I can't win.

And when the memory fades away,
There'd be a better view.
I'll remain one friend lonely,
And just the thought of it I fear.

Guess today you're fine without me.
Spending all your time without me.
And all the things you thought I'd be,
You're moving on by letting go of me.

My reply

First you came, I was uptight.
To trust another’s one impossible fight.
I hated the sound of you,
Fear my heart being stabbed through.

Months I tried to scare you away.
Safeguard my heart and keep you at bay.
But soon you hacked me down,
In a bed of roses, I finally drowned.

Everything was fine until that day.
You were my dream guy and I wanted you to stay.
But you chose to pretend and lie it through.
A play of farce was what I saw from you.

Now, everyday I wake, I think of you
As a liar who managed to make a fool out of me
As much as I do not want make you a foe
I can’t withstand the pain, can’t let it go.

It is after all your intention,
To not contact me, you didn’t want to stay
For you to call for a reconciliation
Was everyday’s hope, I prayed.

But you never did, you really left
And gone were my hopes on you.
All I did was seek salvation ever since
From people who really loved me true.

You didn’t show the slightest respect for me,
So don’t expect me to be nice to you.
You’re the one, who shooed me away,
So don’t expect me to come running back to you.

I can’t believe you took so long
To make the first move, save whatever that’s left.
That shows how low you are willing to stoop
To save that pride you have.

Don’t push it on me, don’t you dare.
I’m not to blame; it’s you who didn’t care.
I am not fine without you, thanks for asking
But since you obviously don’t bother, I’m leaving.