Kasih Sayang Seorang Kakak

Kasih sayang seorang kakak
Tidak berbatas, tidak bertara
Sayangnya mencurah-curah
Ibarat air terjun yang tidak terputus


Kasih sayang seorang kakak
Sangat memaafkan, sangat penyabar
Semua silap diampunkan
Tiada perlunya kata maaf


Kasih sayang seorang kakak
Tidak ternilai, tidak terbeli
Sedia mengetepikan kehendak sendiri
Demi keperluan adik tersayang


Kasih sayang seorang kakak
Ingin yang terbaik, ingin yang sempurna
Hati tak samapai melihatnya hancur
Marah dijadikan bahan ingatan


Jiwa seorang kakak
Sentiasa mengharapkan pelukannya
Sentiasa mendambakan ciumannya
Tiada kenal erti jemu

Inilah diari seorang kakak
Secebis nalurinya terbuka
Untuk difahamkan

Untuk adik yang satu...

Untuk adik yang tiada berganti...

Adik tercintaku,

Baca dan fahamkanlah, sayang...

I want to run to you

I know that when you look at me
There's so much that you just don't see
But if you would only take the time
I know in my heart you'll find....

Oh all a girl's mistakes sometimes isn't always wrong
Can't you see the hurt in me? I feel so all alone...

I want to run to you, I want to run to you
Will you hold me in your arms and keep me safe from harm?
I want to run to you, But if i come to you
Will you stay or will you run away...

Each day, each day i play the role
Of someone always in control
But at night, i come home and turn the key
There's nobody there, no one cares for me...

I'm trying hard to find a dream...
Without someone to share it with,
Tell me what that means....

I want to run to you...

But if i come to you...

Tell me...

Will you stay?

Or will you run away?

The Change

Now, the life i have now is different from just a few months back. It's filled with satisfactions, accomplishments, disappointments, and replacements. Some changes are hoped for whilethe rest are simply the worst tragedies i could ever thougght of.

Bad news first eh...

My ties with the first person who rendered h** help when i was still new has been severed to a point that, no matter how many sorries either parties try to say, it will never go back to the way we were before. Hurt, disappointment and anger were all that i can remember from the relationship i had. It is a sad to see how things have to end this way. Now, it is so hard to get behind the walls put up around h**.

Grief is a solitary thing. Despite having someone to comfort me after the fitt, despite having more than someone whose on my side of the league, my heart still hurts deeply whenever i set my eyes on h**. The sound of h** voice painfully reminded me of how sweet things were before all the screw ups. Previously, the room was all about fun, joy and excitement. Now, the walk up seems interminable, and the room is like a tomb.

In the midst of all the sadness, one hurdle, which was initially thought to be but a fantasy, has finally been overcomed. The dream of entering the University of my choice, NUS, has finally come true. I never thought i would be able to make it that far. Looking back at my childhood and the devil i used to be, nobody would even imagined it. it's been a week since the day i got the acceptance letter but until today, i wake up thinking that it is all a dream gone to far.

At this point, i have two feelings....

Overjoy.

Misery.